Break the chain so the chain doesn't break you!

From that place of the mythic, or analogy, I think this image shows us what fragments of our soul look like when we hang on to the past.  This branch started from the ground as a little green bud. As it looked up to the sky calling for the sun, it began to grow.  Up, up, up getting bigger and stronger.  Weaving in and out of chain links, it continued to climb. It became entangled in the links, and could not let go, so it grew around the metal cross roads.  One day, the metal fence became so imbedded in the center of the branch, it could no longer grow. It stopped looking to the sun, and eventually died.  This is what remains of the journey this branch made. 

Im reminded of similar moments in my life, when the woundings of others embedded deep into the center of my bones. The brain chatter on loop in my mind, keeps a vice grip on the pain. It slowly deteriorates levels of vitality. But unlike the branch, I have the ability to let go.  Letting go of the past is not easy. Sometimes it feels good to hang on, like a guilty pleasure. If we are to continue our growth, it is so vital to take steps to re-frame our perceptions, and move on.  What are we to do?  I talk about this process in my book "Speaking Your Truth."  I am sharing an excerpt from my story, that shows how I was able to break the chains, instead of the chains breaking me! It is a journey that continues to this day, and with proper perspective, we can all heal the wounds of our past, and look to the scars as a gift and triumph. 

"I would spend a lifetime recovering from the collateral damage of death, abuse, divorce, abandonment, and neglect. This moment changed who I was. A part of my soul died, and simultaneously, the birth of the survivor and self-made woman took root in the core of my being. 
 I had to give up hope that my past could ever look any different. I had to forgive myself for hating the adults that had been in charge. I learned that I’d had magic powers all along. The power was realizing that I could be in charge of my own life and script it any way I wanted. For years I searched, trying to understand the mystery of the message that was on a loop inside my brain. “You are a chain breaker.” 
Clarity and understanding began bubbling to the surface when I became a mother. I started to see how my children were living a life with entirely different lenses and that the ancestral cycle of abuses handed down for generations could start the process of healing. I didn’t want to be known as the victim of a sad story. I want to be remembered as a survivor who rose up and would not be defeated. When I fall down and think I can’t get up, I feel my mother picking me up, dusting me off, and whispering to me, “You are breaking that chain.”
I can see broken links lying on the ground every time I share a story of my youth with my children. It is so unfamiliar to them, and when I see their confusion, I can feel light shining in the once dark canyons of my bones. The horrendous deeds of my past have been my greatest gifts and teachers. I honor my lessons and hope to inspire others to honor theirs."

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, and how you can still come out of it.” ~Maya Angelou

Find the lesson
Offer gratitude
Forgive yourself
Do better
Forgive the offender, and remember...This does not mean that you need to keep them in your life. You release them from your soul, understanding that they are on their own journey. Setting them free, really sets you free! 


1 comment:

  1. So beautifully said. We must respect ourselves enough to choose the freedom of forgiveness and believe that how a person treats us speaks not on who we are but on who they are as a person. This is a point I have struggled with for most of my life. It's painful but liberating to finally let go and create my own worth.