Trigger Points of Change

"No one is immune to the cycles of balance and change. Regardless of how large our families are, how many friends we have, how many books we've written, or how successful we've become, we all have a trigger point that invites change into our lives. Interestingly, the trigger appears to be different for eveyone. While we may believe that we have neatly arranged life as something that we can regulate and control, all the while each experience and every relationship is training and preparing us for something that may be beyond our control.

"In doing so, we move ever closer to the moment when we'll be given the opportunity to demonstrate our mastery over our betrayals, violated trust, and hot-button issues. It's only after we've put our last spiritual tool in place to create the balance, however, that we signal our readiness. It is our balance that says, 'Hey! I'm ready. Bring it on!' Now we're ready to demonstrate to the universe what we've learned." Greg Braden.

Honoring the Beauty of the Shadow

It was finally our turn, here in the west to witness an eclipse. They always appear in the pre-dawn hours, when I am finally falling into that deep restful sleep. But this time, I was determined to witness the event that I have slept through in years past. It was 20 degrees outside, I was worried that my camera would retaliate giving a foggy image. When I stepped outside of my garage, and looked up, I gasped. I sped away in my car to a higher elevation where I had full view of this glorious moon.  I love seeing the world through the lens of my camera. The large zoom gives me a closer look, and the excitement of capturing an image makes me giddy. Once the tripod was set and the cameras timer was clicking away, I took a moment for reflection. The shadow cast on this otherwise glowing orb of light, was so beautiful. I reflected on my own shadow's that have been a constant companion throughout my life. My shadows, have been my greatest teachers. The light of the moon does not cease to exist, it merely accepts the dark, and makes it desirable to look at. Thousands of people gather around the world to witness these events. As I have looked at my own shadows, they have become equally beautiful companions that co-exist within me. I have deepest gratitude for the difficult lessons that shadow has taught me. We are all luminous beings. When we allow that light to shine through the darkest times of our life, we are eclipsing the demons, and creating allies that we can then carry into the world in beauty. This process of transformation, is as grand as the events that draw thousands out of their beds, to see with their own eyes, what the heavens are teaching us. I bow in honor to my demons and shadows. I offer gratitude
for the insight and transformation that has replaced the dark. May you all find the beauty within your soul!
“Our shadows hold the essence of who we are.  They hold our most treasured gifts.  By facing these aspects of ourselves, we become free to experience our glorious totality:  the good and the bad, the dark and the light.  It is by embracing all of who we are that we earn the freedom to choose what we do in this world.  As long as we keep hiding, masqerading, and projecting [the negative messages we hide] inside us, we have no freedom to be and no freedom to choose.”
Debbie Ford~

In Like a Lamb. My one year celebration!

Photo taken in the Parish of "Martindale" in the south of Scotland.

Sleeping lion found at the wild animal kingdom in SanDiego.

Today as the sun shines through my window casting a prism from the crystal ornament hanging there, I celebrate the LAMB. It's a gentle day of celebration and joy. WHY? Today is exactly One Year, since my double jaw surgery. It's amazing how the passage of time alone can change perspective.  One year ago today, I woke up in a hospital bed, my face felt like a solid brick of cement. Heavy, hard and no feeling.  One year ago on this day, upon awakening, I was met with a LION. A storm ahead so big and daunting like no other storm I would ever face. Fears were fierce, anxiety high. Eating from a syringe, only liquid for weeks. Everything tasted like a rubber hose. And the meds made me so sick. Although I was greeted with a LION, it was much like this sleeping lion that I photographed. I knew I could do it. I had to dig deep some days, but I was supported, encouraged, loved and hopeful. As I reflect on the past year, It has been one of healing, and recovery. Today I am whole. Today I am healed. Today I celebrate. 

My jaw is strait, my teeth lined up, I can eat, I have no pain. 100% of feeling has returned to my entire face. Considering my age, I honor this as a miracle. My jaw pain is gone, I can chew food in a way that I never knew or appreciated before. One year later, I am stronger than I knew, (and I thought I was strong before.) I am full of gratitude for the outreach from hundreds who prayed, lit candles, and held meditation on my behalf. This is the space where miracles take place. Thank YOU!! I also offer my deepest gratitude for friends and family, who tended to my recovery every minute of every day for weeks. You know who you are, and I celebrate every one of YOU!!  

Last year on this day was "in" like a LION. Today on this day is "in" like a LAMB. The truth is that both are beautiful, and both offer gifts. So regardless of LION or LAMB, I continually invite both to my table, to honor the teaching and learning that can only come through allowing. 


Thank you Rumi for the continued wisdom. On this day one year later, I am Illuminated, hopeful, grateful, and full of love from the center of my heart. 

Carpe Diem~Seize the day!

People see God every day, they just don't recognize him

It was a chilly day at the beach. My body temperature is always registering a few degrees below normal anyway. Part of me wanted to leave, or go sit in the car with the heater on. And then then I noticed the magic. My son was having a mud flinging  contest with his buddies. The sun was preparing to kiss the ocean goodnight, providing a mystical light. There was a mist in the air as the tide was pulling back for the day. I grabbed my camera, and forgot about the chill in my bones. I only saw magic in every shot. The kids were delighted and full of wonder lust as they flung salted, wet sand into the air, and at each other.  This beach was providing the kind of fun that doesn't cost a dime. Their brains are not overloaded with T.V. ad's and video games. The true joy of their spirits are bubbling over and out, with the laughter of voices floating on the wind currents. How full of gratitude I am, that I took a minute to pause, and in doing so saw God all around me. It reminds me of a lyric by India Arie. "It doesn't cost a thing to smile. You don't have to pay to laugh. You'd better thank god for that!" 

And so in that very moment, I said Thank you, thank you, thank you. My soul smiled, my heart opened, my bones warmed, and I noticed!!

live like you were dying

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life.

Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.

Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools
and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled
with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep
and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.

Speaking Your Truth, sneak peak for volume 3

I started this blog to document my process, and hopefully offer support and help to those going through the same grueling surgery. I got so much more from this blog than just my own documentary. I began reflecting on my life, and the many difficult lessons that have knocked on my door. I chose one story and decided to submit it for publication. Im thrilled to announce, that the third and final volume of "Speaking your truth" is projected for release this August. I am so excited to be a contributing author in this anthology. The stories from women in these 3 volumes are inspiring, encouraging, courageous and real!! You can purchase volumes 1 and 2  through Amazon, Barnes and Nobel or from the "Speaking your truth web site. Thank you for the support!!

If the retainer doesn't fit don't wear it!

It all happened over a weekend. That all to familiar sore on the roof of my mouth was acting up again. By sunday, It was clearly an infected wound. I went to the instacare for an antibiotic suspecting it may possibly be an abscess tooth. The very thought of it brought me to tears. I could not imagine any more invasive dental work. Monday morning at the crack of shcmack I went to the dentist, I was so relieved to know that my teeth were fine, but the retainer NOT!! Lesson... if the retainer doesn't fit don't wear it!! A new appliance has made a world of difference! I had that gut feeling from the beginning that something went wrong.  I had to assist in the process of removing the mold after the goop set up, it was stuck like a shoe in cement. The goop pulled away from the mold as well. I think it was a very slight discrepancy in the shaping of it, but the dentist said it is very sensitive. So I had the Ortho make a new retainer. And Im thrilled to say that it fits like a glove. Im not lisping as much either. Im so glad to have that resolved. My one year anniversary is this month. It's so crazy to be here on the other side.

When life seems to be overwhelming, walk a labyrinth. It will quiet your mind, and allow your soul to find peace in your journey. This labyrinth is in southern utah, constructed with red sandstone rocks, and a back drop of the most stunning mountains. My you all find that inner peace as you journey along your path of healing!!

Cheers to all..