3 squared...3 months 3 weeks 3 days post op..

3 months 3 weeks and 3 days post op... Some days it feels like a lifetime ago, others just yesterday. My life is definitely back to normal. The healing now is just annoying, and seems slow. It's surprising to me how new strange sensations will appear from nowhere. It seems as though my teeth are waking up. If I chew anything with texture or crunch, a nerve sensation goes from my teeth to my lips and chin. Certain teeth trigger specific nerves in my face. Its annoying enough that I find myself favoring the softer foods again. Like with any discomfort, I don't want to complain to loudly, realizing that it is progressive healing and I need to be full of gratitude.  Along this process of healing, Ive noticed that the teeth on the left side seat together beautifully and the teeth on the right side not so much. I noticed last weekend, that my my bottom jaw was moving to the right (its old position) just a bit maybe a millimeter at most. Totally freaked out I made an emergency appointment with the OD to have him assess this misalignment. I know he must find me crazy, but a millimeter may as well be a mile when you have had a saw dismember your face. He said it was hardly noticeable, but Im not satisfied with that lower jaw being anything but in perfect alignment with the top. So he put me back in rubber bands to secure the bite again. In addition to the slight shift, I mentioned my concern that the right side is not seating like the left. He said that I have a slight cant and he can bring it all together, just be patient.  The word cant sends a shutter down my spine as I know that a couple of fellow jaw surgery friends are dealing with this demon and its not nice. He assured me that in my case, it's quite normal for it to be ever so slightly "off" because in trying to correct an asymmetry that existed prior, you often end with a tiny one in the end. He was confident that the braces will fix it, and all will be well in the end. I believe him, but I will say that there is an expectation for perfection when you undergo such a procedure as this one. Its such a dramatic surgery and time commitment that anything but perfection tends to wreak havoc on the mental state of mind. 

So I turn to inspiration to feel better and Audrey Hepburn was just what this girl needed...

I believe in Pink
I believe that laughing, 
is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing, kissing alot!
I believe in being STRONG, 
when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls!
I believe that tomorrow is another day,
and I believe in MIRACLES!!

The Braced Faced Minister, officiates her first wedding. 3months 2 weeks and some change post OP

It's a wrap! I wrote and officiated my first wedding. This was never a part of the bigger vision I held for myself, but my brother needed help, and I rose to the occasion. I spent hours writing and perfecting a ceremony that would be perfect for the couple. They were married in the sweetest little park, surrounded by large wise old trees. Directly behind me no more than 5 feet, was a very large river, competing for attention. I was fortunate to have a microphone, which amplified my voice enough so the guests could hear the ceremony. It was a bit squeaky and scratchy as I passed it back and forth for the reading of the vows, but we made it through and It was just perfect. I read a little bit of Rumi, Hafiz, and recited an apache blessing. I also included insight about the meaning of circles from Black Elk, and discussed the 4 kinds of love with the greek interpretation. Eros, Philia, Storge and Agape. The sweetest part of the ceremony, was when my brothers 2 daughters from a previous marriage were able to participate in a ring ceremony with Melinda their new step mother. There was not a dry eye in the crowd, when she promised to love and honor them and love them as if they were her own. She gave them each a ring as a promise, and it was truly touching. The evening ended with a Unity Candle ceremony. 

I was concerned that my speech may be impaired with the braces, and tired facial muscles still working their way back to a healed state. Much to my surprise, I got through the entire reading without any trouble. In fact, the entire thing was unusually comfortable, I felt right at home in my minister role. I'm sure this was a once in a lifetime event. How incredibly awesome to add that to my list of wonderful and inspiring moments in this lifetime! One guest, surprised that I was the minister approached me and said in his small town accent, "I didn't know you was a minista.." I said.. "Well I is now!" (funny how my grammar check is going crazy with this sentence! Haa) 

Ring ceremony with the girls...

This little friend sat on the grass behind me and then left after the ceremony. Can anyone identify it's species? It has beautiful markings.

A nice back drop she had bright colors!! So pretty.

The Braced Faced Minister!!  Can't really see the braces in this photo! Gotta love the clear brackets..

 Carpe Diem.. Live Consciously.. Seize the day!!

Inspirational Video - The Don't Quit Poem

Im sharing a poem today. To all of you recovering, not just from jaw surgery, but from any troubles that are your companion today. For those who have done this jaw surgery once, and then those that have had to endure it multiple times. To those who are struggling, in the physical, emotional or spiritual realms, please find courage, find the grace in dark. Find the light, and remember that It doesn't cost a thing to smile!
Carpe Diem, live consciously, seize your day!!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 
When the funds are low and the debts are high, 
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 
When care is pressing you down a bit, 
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 

As every one of us sometimes learns, 
And many a failure turns about, 
When he might have won had he stuck it out; 
Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- 
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, 

It seems to a faint and faltering man, 
Often the struggler has given up, 
When he might have captured the victor's cup, 
And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out-- 

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 
And you never can tell how close you are, 
It may be near when it seems so far, 
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- 
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Time on steroids, and another bagpipe sighting! 3months 1 week post op.

I love the bagpipe, this man was playing for the recent opening of an event we attended. And I think this may be the first photo I have posted that has not been taken by yours truly, with my long arm extended in the shot! If I counted on anyone else to capture my moments of recovery, there would be no blog or documentation, so the long arm becomes part of my story. 

I find myself thinking about the concept of time. It has been 3 months and 1 week since my jaw surgery. It may as well have been a lifetime ago when I consider where I am now. The gross misalignment that I lived with for 41 years, the teeth that never fit together, the jaw that was crooked. The very memory of it is slipping away. This new bite that has only been a part of my structure for a short 3 months, feels so familiar like it was a part of me all along. I have to remind myself that biting down and feeling the teeth make contact is a new way of being, a celebration a miracle! During the first 3 weeks of recovery, It felt like the gears, pinions and ratchets in the universal clock of time, were all running amuck. Broken, misbehaving, not monitoring the hours and minutes. It was like walking the wrong way on an escalator, never reaching the top, making the motion with no end in sight. Time as I knew it felt halted. Would I ever be able to brush my teeth, feel my face, kiss my children, chew my food, take off the rubber bands. Would the inferno boiling inside my skin go away, or would my skin crack and peel off? Would I ever be able to scratch the phantom itch? Would my pupils be dilated forever, did I ruin my eyes? Would I ever taste solid food again, return from the hell of nausea, stay awake all day? What about my speech, would I ever speak and be understood, or have to learn a new language?  So many concerns, and a slave to time that felt like it was going no where. Surrender? I became a master. And now today only 3 months later, the universal clock of time, appears to be on steroids determined to win a race, smack me down and steal my day. I barley have time to wonder when my braces will come off, or if Im speaking clearly. Was their food on my chin that I didn't feel? Oh well, can't bother. Im now staring down the barrel of a quickly ending summer. A day fly's by so fast that my head spins. It was just 3 months ago that my head was spinning from narcotics, now its that pesky TIME blasting past me at warp speed, taunting me as if to say, "Can you keep up grasshopper?" Most likely not, but I'll do my best. When all else fails I will write. It makes me feel much better!!

How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon? ~Dr. Seuss~

Carpe Diem, live consciously, seize the day!