Fatigue is running amuck... day 32 Post op

My question when I look at this photo is will I have a normal smile after braces? My teeth get all hung up on the hardware and metal, and make for a funky smile...I had my hair done today, and spent the better part of 2 hours watching myself speak to my stylist in a large mirror. What I saw frightened me. There is still enough paralysis in the muscles around my mouth, that watching myself try to form words in a mirror was painful. I get the strangest looks from on lookers, now i understand why. I hope that feeling in the face returns at some point. I may need to practice speaking in front of a mirror to get a feel for it. I had to do that when I first got the braces.. Did I say my face has been under assault? I find myself in a bit of a pickle.  They say after you have a baby to not get dressed for as long as you can stand it because once you do, there is an expectation that you will jump right back into your role. I look one thousand times better, no severe swelling to speak of, and after a month I need to get dressed and wear make-up, accessorize. The presenting problem, is that the expectation to be totally normal looms.  I don't "look" broken anymore. Today, I "felt" broken.  I had to feel my pulse to make sure I was still alive. (k exaggeration) but I was down. I slept more today than in the past week and a half. I think my body's reserves were all being directed to my face, there is still a lot of healing that needs to take place, muscular, skeletal and sensory.  So I allow the space to rest, guilt free, accessorized, dressed cute, and makeup on. 

I went into the living room to check on Sydnie, this is what I found. Looks like fatigue is running amuck in my house. This is how I felt today. Ahh how good it feels. 
The saying goes, 'The sage rests, truly rests and is at ease.' This manifests itself in calmness and detachment, so that worries and distress cannot affect her, nothing unpleasant can disturb her, her Virtue is complete and her spirit is not stirred up.
Chuang Tzu (c.360 BC - c. 275 BC)

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.
Spanish Proverb

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tresa! I hear what you are saying about your mouth and talking. I am sick of doing nothing and am anxious to get back to work and move on, but I know I look weird when I talk. I see people doing double takes when i'm in public. If you are still having issues looking normal when talking, then I still have a way to go! Let's hope month #2 is the one!