Accidental Raspberry day 31 post op

So tonight I was with friends, one plays the digeridoo. I accidentally did a "Raspberry" with my lips demonstrating the movement the lips make. An accidental "Raspberry" wow, Surprised for sure..It made my lips tingly and I realize that I have another baby step behind me. I still have the fake face feeling, but the pain is tolerable. Heat wraps are the most soothing. Waking up is still the hardest part of the day. It takes a while to get going and relieve the pressure that builds up at night. Im only taking a 20 min. nap every day now. Considering that my face, jaw and teeth have been under assault for over a year now I feel like there is hope in the near future. Its starting to feel like the worst is behind me. I will say that there is an underlying fear about the numbness and how much feeling will return. Its amazing to me that it takes such a long time to recover. Talking hurts. It hurts all the time. It's the worst when Im wearing the  rubber bands. People who don't know me like the checkers at the store and random people who make comments think im a freak. I sound strange, can't blame them, but I swear out of curiosity they ask more questions than normal to try to hear me speak. I do alot of nodding and "mmhumm's" And then it feels better to take off the bands and speaking is much clearer, but the jaw aches if I speak too much. My kids especially my smallest peanut totally take advantage of my disability. She knows if the bands are on there is a 50/50 chance she will get her way if she argues and asks one million questions. I just can't keep up and give in. (kick me when im down). This becomes a mental challenge to figure out how to get this part of life back to normal. Communicating is off and abbreviated due to the sheer discomfort. Im the type of person who wants to know how the clock works not just what time it is.. This is frustrating because I have to settle with the latter.  Having said ALL of that, take a gander at the picture of me in my first week of recovery. I don't even look like myself. A nice reminder of what a difference a month makes. Now if I can restore proper function to the mouth I just might be dangerous!!
Haa this is the photo where i look like the stone statues on easter island. Ohh how sad and miserable. I have compassion for myself. It wouldn't be a proper documentary if I didn't post the ugly... hands down the hardest thing Ive done so far in 41 years... 
Looks like a relative yes....


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